Monday, 2 January 2017

Lifestyle: Reflections of 2016

New Year reflections

As my 2015 New Year - New Me reflections was quite a popular post, I thought I should share my personal review of 2016.

Low Points
  • My personal low point came quite quickly, namely in February when I was let down by someone, at the time I thought s/he was of importance to my life. From this point onwards I didn’t feel comfortable at work at all and I was indecisive whether to leave the company or give it a last chance. I was pretty upset and down which had damaged my self-esteem and confidence.
  • It didn’t help that I was given either petty tasks or next to no work at all in my job. As an academic I couldn’t bear the boredom and lack of mental stimulation, so by April, I had become an emotional zombie who just went to work and tried to get the day over as soon as possible. I’d limited all social interaction to the absolute minimum and then returned home demotivated and listless.
  • I’d become so unhappy that it was written all over my face. I felt emotionally drained and empty, my dreams crushed and I took it out on a few people which I deeply regret now.
  • Brexit in June wasn’t exactly happy news to me, meaning that I have to potentially leave at some point and all the hard work of establishing a life here in the UK will be destroyed in an instant. Every decision that I’m facing now has to consider Brexit and the consequences that may happen – obviously not the best motivation.

Highlights & Achievements
  • Despite all the low points I’ve managed to “keep going” and find a way of “functioning”, as I’m not someone who gives up easily.
  • At the beginning of the year, I met Mille, whom I know from blogging. Though we live in different countries, we made some pretty good efforts to keep our friendship growing in 2016 which I’m very happy and grateful for. Mille visited me a few times in London and I had the chance to see her in Copenhagen. We’re both Geminis, have similar quirks and a never ending love for alphabet fries so needless to say we hit it off straight away. It’s great when you meet an amazing person, it clicks straight away and you work on your relationship together to become friends.
  • Visiting Denmark a few times in 2016 has also given me the chance to reconnect with my friend Anna from Sweden, my former classmate from language school. We’ve been in touch ever since we left London in 2006, but you know, life comes in the way and then you sadly lose contact. Luckily, this has changed and I visited Anna twice. I’m very happy to see that she’s moved into a brand new apartment with her partner Johann. They are both lovely people and I’m very much looking forward to keeping in touch with them in 2017.
  • Travelling has helped me to take off my mind from London and I was able to visit five different countries in 2016. I saw wild dolphins during my holiday in Tenerife, went sightseeing in Rome and escaped to a Copenhagen weekender.  I’m planning on travelling more in 2017 and I’m finally tackling my Australia plans to become reality.
  • My friend Karen has moved closer to my area so I no longer have to go on a world tour through London when I’d like to see her.
  • In a last attempt to rescue my non-existent career at my company, I’ve applied for a job internally with a different department and I’ve been offered the position. It’s now down to HR and internal company processes I guess when I can fully start this new opportunity. 

blogging

Event(s) of the Year

Blogging-wise, 2016 wasn’t my strongest year, so I was barely invited to any events.

However, I was lucky to see Coldplay live at Wembley in June and get myself an invite to join the Magnum Members Club at their Pleasure store.

Lessons Learnt in 2016
  • This might sound a bit harsh but I need to stop being nice to the wrong kind of people. In 2016, I’ve hosted two people at my spare guest room for a few weeks without asking for anything in return, simply because I wanted to help out and provide a safe environment for those two people in need. After their stay they both turned nasty towards me, one making my life even more miserable at work by excluding me systematically from my team and the other by publicly shaming and tarnishing my name because I didn’t invite her out for expensive meals on top of her free stay at my London home. Literally, I’m so done with people. Disappointment doesn’t even come close to what I feel and also I’m more ashamed of myself and my obvious lack of personal misjudgement.
  • Looking back at 2016, I’ve let far too many people rule emotionally over me and my well-being, so for 2017, my goal is to focus on myself. Not in a selfish way but I need to stop trying so hard to please everyone around me. I feel I’ve lost sight of myself, who I am and given up on my dreams and this needs to change, as I can’t go on like this. I need to focus on my career, which is still non-existent three years after I’ve graduated with a first from my Masters and it seriously starts to freak me out. I’m worried about my future, even so with Brexit lurking around the corner, so in 2017 I need to work on myself. Focus on people who care about me, focus on my personality and hobbies and definitely focus on my well-being. I certainly have no time for BS in 2017.

Song & Film of the Year

Taylor Swift – Blank Space, it provided me comfort on most commutes back home and took off my mind whenever I needed it.

Film of the Year has to be Tom Ford’s Nocturnal Animals. It’s a brilliant, heart-breaking piece of cinematic drama that deserves a couple of awards in the upcoming awards season.  

Sacrifice 2016

Parts of my personality to please others.

Rediscovered Passions
  • Ice Skating. I had the chance to go twice during my stay in Germany and I miss it a lot. It was so easy to just take my skates and go practising for a couple of hours. In the UK, the nearest place is miles away from my home, not even to mention how expensive it is to go. Ice Skating is one of the rare things I’m looking forward to if I ever have to return living in Germany.
  • Blogging. 2016 hasn’t been a great year for my blog to keep up with the blogosphere, plus I kind of fell out of love with it for a while. I’ll try my best to keep it up in 2017 as I very much enjoy writing and fashion, however, I will refrain from massively over promoting my blog on social media and return to the basics of blogging and write for myself rather than for an audience.
  • Travelling. Anywhere outside and as far away from London as possible has been a great change for me personally. Actually, my happiest memories from 2016 are all from my travels.
  • Cinema. After a long time of indecisiveness, I’ve renewed my unlimited card. Films and going to the movies is one last hobby of mine that makes up my personality and I don’t want to sacrifice it for London.

The New Year is only a few days old and I will sit back and see what it has in store for me. 

Take care and till next time,
Carolin

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1 comment

  1. What a great post. It sounds like 2016 was a really mixed bag for you (although I hope it was positive overall!) I'm definitely also done with being nice to everyone - or at least putting myself out to help others when they never return the favour! Some people take advantage too much but it's nice to see who the really genuine people are. Sorry to hear your life has been affected by Brexit so much.. I'm worried that my fiancé won't be allowed to stay in the uk, meaning I will be moving permanently to Italy with him. I love Italy but it's not the best option for my career and I'm worried I'm putting all this effort into a PhD potentially for nothing. Never mind, life always has little quirks around the corner :) xxx
    Lucy @ La Lingua | Life, Travel, Italy

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